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All i can say is that someone better kill the director. RIGHT NOW.

Was born today.
What a crappy name.
Oh well, Gee likes her.

He cannot have a present anymore..
Free flash toys is broken :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbt_PuVAVTU

Best youtube video thus far.

So, i was looking through some old blog posts, reading how random and hilarious Cheesey's adventures were, and decided to remind you all. I've added the last section, an "about the world of inanimate objects", plus Nina's take on things. Enjoy.


Part 1
Let's start at the begining, shall we?
Cheesey was lying down, simply minding his own business, and hoping to catch a tan from the rays of the Technology workshop. It was then, on that fatefull Wednesday regestration time, when suddenly a tall (to him), scary-looking girl picked him up. (No, it wasn't Kazandra.)Without a second's notice, an almost-as-scary (but blonde) girl charged towards him.
"Oh me God!" Said the Blonde girl.Then, plodding behind the two girls, another girl came along, with black hair like the first.
"What is it, Tyler?" she asked the blonde girl.
"A cheesegrater!" said Tyler, holding Cheesey up to the light.
He very nearly got a light-burn.But getting a light-burn was the least of Cheesey's problems, for he was a ruler, and a sturdy steel one at that! How could anyone think he was a cheesegrater? Sure, he had some cheesegrater-shaped holes on his side, but his Mummy, Paul, said he was beautiful on the inside.
Luckily, the first girl snatched him, rather painfully, from Tyler.
"Let's call him Cheesey!" She declared.
Tyler and the other girl laughed.
Cheesey was disgusted with his name, he wanted to be Paul Jr, but, until now, he was "30cm".
"I want Cheesey!" said Tyler.
"No, I want Cheesey!" said Namer-girl.
"How about we share custodey?" said Namer-girl.
"Sure." said Tyler.
And thus, Cheesey's adventures began.
After 12 seconds of spending time with Namer-girl, (who was called Jamie,) Cheesey began to like his new life. He especially liked sawing the other black-haired girl (who Cheesey found out was called Rhiannon,)'s hair and stomache. He disliked Tyler grabbing at him. He had such fun with Jamie...Until the bell rang.
Cheesey was afraid that Jamie would simply forget him, like many did as soon as that terrifying noise sounded. But Jamie was loyal to her rulers, and held him all the way to Maths.
Maths was terrible.
The teacher's voice droned on and on and on, until Cheesey almost went insane with it all.
The rest of the day passed in a blur for Cheesey, but he wished that he could remeber it when he was thrown across the Music classroom and into the waiting hands of Tyler.
The only thing that kept Cheesey alive that day was knowing that he would soon see Jamie...
Part 2
Cheesey was chatting to Nina's other victims, and found himself having an intense conversation with Steve, the Pen.
Poor Steve had been Jamie's best friend.
He had been her favourite Pen, in all his Blue-Ink-Glory.But, one day, (About last week) Steve couldn't write anymore. He had amnesia and had forgotten how to Pee ink.But Jamie still carried Steve around in Nina's Pencil-Case-Stomache.
This made Cheesey admire Jamie even more.
Cheesey and Steve had spent a lot of time together during the walk to school, and Cheesey realized that he had found True Love.
Steve felt the same way, and they hugged. :) (Aww!)
After 3rd lesson, Cheesey was becoming suspisious of the "Amazing" Hobo Bag.
He had heard Jamie and Tyler and Rhiannon talking about Hobo Bag, almost re-naming him Trampy the Tramp Bag.
And Cheesey didn't like Hobo Bag one tiny bit.
He had the infamous SPAR logo tatooed across his left side, and the words; "Jamie-Lea C. Year 8" on his right.
Apparently, he had the honour of carrying Jamie's PE kit around all day.
Oh, how Cheesey envied him.
Steve felt angry at this new intruder endangering Cheesey's relationship with Jamie, and made a plan with Cheesey for Revenge!
Jamie was going to dump Hobo Bag inside Beryl's closet after PE, and that was Cheesey and Steve's oppotunity.
They hugged each other as they jumped out of Jamie's bag, and ran for Beryl's closet once Jamie had gotten rid of Hobo Bag.
They got inside, but couldn't find Hobo Bag anywhere!
So they sat there and Cried. Together. (Aww!)
Then they heard a raspy murmer from behind the Radiator.
"So, it that your name, Kayla'sBag?"
"It is indeedy." came a squeaky voice from the same direction.
"It's not often that someone like me - Tacky, SPAR-like, - gets to meet someone like you, Kayla'sBag. I mean, look at your pull-strings!"
"Well, I am proud of my family Name. Us ReeBoks are very upper-class, i suppose."
"Lets get Married!" Said Hobo Bag.
So Cheesey and Steve Attended the wedding of Kayla'sBag and Hobo Bag, and forgave Hobo Bag for taking all the attention.
Part 3
Love was in the air for Jamie's inanimate objects, and Steve and Cheesey were getting married. :]
Hobo Bag and Kayla'sBag were out on their honeymoon in the PE Department, having fun watching the retarded year 7s play basketball.
Tyler was to hold the ceremony, and, at first, Cheesey was slightly worried. But, over the days, Cheesey started to like Tyler. Yay.
Hobo Bag and Kayla'sBag were expected to attend the wedding, but, when Cheesey went to their room to give them their Bride's Bag Dresses, they were nowhere to be found!
Cheesey told Steve, but he assured Cheesey that they'd be back on time, because they're cool like that.
Cheesey beleived Steve, and the hugged. (aww!)
The next day, Hobo Bag and Kayla'sBag were STILL missing, and the wedding was only the next day!
Steve and Cheesey went to investigate, and found a terrible note!
Deer Chiisi and Stev.
I vil kiwl yoh if yoh mawwy eash ova.
I am a Jew and it iz nott my relijon to let gais mawwy!
Bad Chiisi!
Tuwn strayt and Stev wont dii and yoh mite get howbow bag and keylersbag back.
Ba ha ha ha ha!
Pee es: say hi to Jaymee for me!
Cheesey and Steve were shivering with terror as the Jewish 3-year-old's letter sat in their hands. Granted, the Jew had very nice hand-writing.
Handwriting that looked horribly familiar!
With a jolt, Cheesey realized who the writer was!
It was none other than Craig B!
Steve and Cheesey found it very hard to sleep that night, for 3 reasons:
1. Cheesey had gained several pounds which made his PJs uncomfy.
2. Nina's snoring was very loud.3.
There was a homosidle baby Jew/Craig trying to kill them!
But eventailly, they fell asleep.
The next day, STEVE WASN'T THERE!
"IT WAS THE JEW!" Screamed Cheesey.
Jamie and Tyler came to look, and suddenly, Tyler broke down.
"I'm. So. Sorry! It's not my fault i'm a Jew! My mum told me that if i wasn't, she'd take away my phone! I can't help it! Have Hobo Bag and Kayla'sBag!" He thrust a small potato sack to Cheesey.
"What about Steve?" Cheesey asked through sobs.
"No Idea!" Tyler said honestly.
Jamie felt rather left out from this conversation, so wandered around the room, then settled on lying on the floor, for no particular reason.
She looked under the hotel bed, only to find Steve under it, with tape all over his mouth!
After Jamie had Steve back to normal, he said, "Craig did it! HE DID IT!"
"But i wrote the letter!" said Tyler. "I framed Craig!"
They all stared, lost in thought, at the door.
Then, suddenly, it opened, revealing none other than Craig himself!
"Uh. Hi." he said, seeing everyone giving him evils.
"Oh. Right. Well, My Pen, NoName, had a crush on Steve, and wouldn't go out with my Pencil, NoName! I just had to get rid of Steve! And I would've done it if it wern't for you meddling inanimate objects, and your Dumb Blonde!"
So they attacked Craig, and Tyler's mum.
And the wedding went off without a hitch.
:]
Part 4
Cheesey and Steve's lives were great after the Tyler-Craig-Jew thing.
Craig got done for the meanie he is, and was sentenced to 5 hours of MATHS. (Insert Jaws theme music here.)
Tyler's Mum said sorry and gave them all cookies.
And they were pretty darn happy.
Later, Cheesey and Jamie were walking home from Tyler's house, cookies in hand.
Jamie stopped off in the SPAR for some Skittles.
Cheesey was terrified of the SPAR, ever since he met Hobo Bag.
Hobo bag had bad stories of the SPAR...
So, anyway, Cheesey decided to stay outside while Jamie bought her E-numbers.
That was when he saw them...Thousands of tiny protractors, skuttling about outside the SPAR.
Suddenly, they turned to Cheesey.
They advanced, baring their plastic teeth.
"Cannibals." Said Cheesey, under his breath.
They ran towards him.
One fell over.
Then suddenly, it was as if they all fell over at once, but didn't bother getting back up.
Then Cheesey realized.
They were bowing.
For him?
He felt he had to make a speech.
"Uh. Hi. I am Cheesey.. And, I, uh.. Am your king! No - your God! No - Your CHEESUS!"
The cannibalistic protractors applauded, screeching "Cheesus!" in unison.
So Cheesey was the Cheesus of Cheesiantity.
He liked that.
So he ran home, not bothering to wait for Jamie, to tell Steve, with all his millions of Cheesians following.
"Hi Stevie-poos! I'm home!" He said, running through the door, accompanied by the Cheesians.
"Oh. Hi. Who are they, Cheesey-poos?" Steve Said.
"They are my Cheesians, Stevie-poos!"
Steve looked puzzled.
Cheesey explained.
"So, in short," Steve said, "They are Cheesians. You are their Cheesus. And you rule Cheesiantity."
"YESH!" Cheesey proclaimed.
"I'll make some coffee for your Cheesians, then, Cheesey-poos."
The Cheesians didn't seem to understand a word of English, but sipped their coffee politely. For Cannibals, y'know.
When Cheesey returned from his shower, Steve was nowhere to be found!
The Cheesians looked at him sheepishly.
So Cheesey Ran at them with his sharpest side, ready to maim his followers and collect every last peice of his beloved Steve, no matter how many had had a part in eating him.
But the Cheesians escaped, never to be seen again.
Poor Cheesey. :(
Cheesey held a Funeral for Steve nevertheless, with Rhiannon, Jamie, Tyler, Hobo Bag, Daisy, Kayla'sBag, Nina, and some Cheesians that had given up their cannibalistic ways for coffee.
On the Gravestone, Cheesey had engraved:
Here Lies Stevie-poos.
Loved by many.
Eaten by even more.
It was hard for him, but Kayla'sBag assured him in her squeaky voice that it had to be done.
Rhiannon seemed to enjoy the depressingness of it all, so Cheesey kicked her.
And, although everyone was sad then, Steve had a very nice send-off.
:)
Part 5
Cheesey took a long time to get over Steve's death.
He had become a very vacant ruler, without much enthusiasm for anything.
But that all changed when Tyler demanded custard. Of Cheesey, obviously.
So Jamie gave up Cheesey with a slight regret.
It was then that Cheesey embarked on his new life of Crime.
"Let's set fire to things!" said Tyler with a gleam in his eye.
And, from then on, Cheesey was Tyler's partener in Crime.
Skye was Jelous.
When Jamie saw Cheesey next, he has several scary tattoos, an extra hole on his side, and had fully recovered from Steve getting eaten by cannibals. He was ex-perimenting in DATING.
First, he walked up to Nina, and said, in a very deep, scary voice, "Date me, hot stuff."
Nina ate him and wouldn't let him out until tea time.
Then, he walked up to NoName, Daisy's bag, and said, in his scary deep voice, "Date me, hot stuff."
NoName Spat at him and told him he was a man.
Cheesey said that wasn't a problem.
NoName told Cheesey that he was a Jew.
Cheesey ran away.
Cheesey was having no luck with his Dating plan. Aww. Poor Cheesey.
So, in English, when no-one was looking (He didn't want to break his thug image!), He cried. Aww. Poor Cheesey.
Audrey, Daisy's Ruler, asked him what was wrong.
He replied, in his usual (Not deep &+ scary) voice; "I just can't take it anymore! Tyler is making me an arsonist, i am running out of money for nuclear bombs, I have to act tough, Stevie-poos is dead, no-one will date me, and - and - I -" He broke out with fresh sobs that made everyone look at him. "I WANT COOKIES!!!" He said, trying to choke back some tears.
Suddenly, Audrey hugged him, and everything was OK.
Tyler had no Skittles for an hour,Cheesey sold some Cheesians on eBay for money,No-one cared that he didn't act tough,Cheesey had Audrey now,and Jamie bought him cookies.
Part 6
Tyler and Cheesey still spent lots of time together, but he perferred his time alone with Audrey.
He enjoyed his time alone with Audrey so much that he didn't enjoy it anymore.
So they decided to adopt a child.
Jamie agreed to help, and bought them an adorable bundle of protractor.
Although it looked slightly like the dreaded Cheesians, Cheesey and Audrey loved it to bits.
They called him Chaudrey.
Chaudrey was spoilt rotten for minutes on end, until it happened...
In Biology, They left Caudrey alone for 3.58 seconds, to tell Tyler.
When they retured, Chaudrey was no-where to be found!
"OMG!" Said Audrey.
"Yeah!, OMG!" Said Cheesey.
Then they cried.
"Everything i touch Dies!!!" Sobbed Cheesey.
Audrey gave him a funny look, then ran away before he could get infected with the disease that Cheesey seemed to be carrying around.
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE.
The Pant bus ran Audrey over.
:(
Cheesey had no time to mourn over Audrey, for he must save Chaudrey, his only son.
He asked Craig what he knew.
"Nothing"
He asked Jamie what she knew.
"E=MC Squared."
Cheesey cried.
Tyler came over to Cheesey and told him he Suspected Morten, a Denmark-ish boy who was writing to Jamie, had stolen Chaudrey.
Cheesey Didn't Question his Logic.
So they Planned...
And then they blew up Denmark with some Nuclear bombs Tyler had in his bag.
Sadly, Chaudrey was in Gregs, as he thought there was a Zombie apocalipse after seeing Ricky's face.
But it was fun blowing Denmark up anyway.
Part 7
The blowing-up of Denmark was littering Newspaper headlines, splayed all over the News, screaming out for everyone to hear.
This didn't trouble Cheesey.
For Cheesey wanted to be in prison, where he could mourn Audrey's death.
But he just couldn't do that to Chaudrey, the only reminder of Audrey..
He was the only reminder of Audrey because, as the inanimate object police said, "Inanimate objects get run over by buses everyday, you can't expect it to be all over the news". They couldn't even find a shard of ruler.
Until third lesson...
Jamie and Cheesey and Rhiannon and Tyler and Brian and Chaudrey and Nina and Hobi and Daisy and Dewi and Kyle and Jess and Alice and Keiran were sitting down in R.E, casually talking about non-r.e.-related-things, when the lights flickers, turning off the Jew video that Cheesey found offensive.
Then, without warning, in burst a pack of Zombies, throwing themselves at random kids.
Including Sam. Ba ha ha ha!
But Jamie, Tyler and Rhiannon had planned for this, and gathered their inanimate objects and friend hurridly, then dashing to town and locking themselves inside Greggs.
Keiran got to work on making coconut cookies.
Cheesey and Tyler got to work on Making Nuclear Bombs.
Jamie got to work on eating cakes.
Rhiannon got to work on sulking in a corener because the Jonas Brothers were playing.
And everyone else got to work on Zombie-proofing the place.
It was all too soon that they all realized that they would run out of air if they all stayed in there, and they would all eat the food, and they would all argue and possible bomb themselves as an a ct of suicide.
So Jamie and Tyler and Rhiannon planned...
"Hey, Sean! A maths book!" Jamie screamed, and pointed at the road outside.
"I don't see one.." Sean replied.
"Quick! before the Zombie's eat it!"
Sean scrambled out after the imaginary maths book, only to be eaten by bloodthirsty Zombies.
Then, Zombies jumped in from everywhere, even though, in theory, Greggs is Zombie-proof.
Everyone looked at Hobi.
"What? I had to help Keiran make the cookies!"
And so they forgave him, because the cookies were very nice.
The Zombie vs inanimate object & Human battle lasted minutes, until only 1 zombie remained.
Cheesey stared in horror.
Part 8
As Cheesey stared in wonder at the zombie from his past, Chaudrey whimpered behind him, and, as the zombie approached, Cheesey knew he must kill it.
But how could he kill this zombie? Any other zombie, and he'd kill it. He'd kill 100 zombies to protect his son.
But he found it hard, planning ways to kill that zombie.
Kill the zombie that his life had once revolved around.
As Cheesey was stuck in this dilema, the zombie was inching closer to him and his beloved son.
He had to make a decision.
"Nina!" He called, his voice a hoarse whisper.
He stole a glance at the pencilcase, chewwing bits of another, already dead, zombie.
"What??" Nina grumbled.
"Get over here ASAP and eat Chaudrey. Nicely. Okay?" Cheesey whispered again.
Nina nodded, spat out the remainants of the zombie and re-applied his lipgloss.
Then he slowly waddled to Cheesey and gobbled Chaudrey up, while Cheesey stared in awe at the zombie that was still approaching.
Even though the face was drained of life, it looked almost happy.
Cheesey braced himself, and the zombie lundged.
After several moments, Cheesey opened his eyes.
Everyone had stopped eating each other, and were all staring at the scene infront of them.
The zombie was actully hugging Cheesey.
Cheesey hugged the zombie back tightly.
As always, Tyler ruined the moment by shouting,
"Oh my god, it's Steve!" then,
"Ooh, a mirror.." and walked off into the back of Greggs.
Part 9
Just then, an outbreak of hugs erupted, then everyone sat down for some cookies.
"Now, Steve, you must not eat anyone. Especially Chaudrey. He's my son. If you feel the urge to eat anyone, Craig is always availiable." Cheesey said in a firm voice.
Steve smiled and nodded, taking a lump out of Craig's arm casually.
Chaudrey asked, "So will he be living with us?"
Cheesey replied, "Ofcourse my Stevie-poos will. But don't worry, Audrey wouldn't've minded. He liked Steve."
"Okay" said Chaudrey.
Suddenly, Morten burst through the Gregg's doors, in a Denmark suit.
"AAAAAAAAH!" screamed Tyler, when he was finished with his mirror.
"HI." Morton said.
Tyler threw a nuclear bomb at him.
Morton died.
Then everyone went to Jamie's house and had a "Everyone in Denmark is dead" party.
Then Rhiannon, Jamie and Tyler accompanied Cheesey, Chaudrey and Steve to their house.
Then they left.
Chaudrey went to sleep, after the Cheesians got him a coffee.
And Steve and Cheesey had the house to themselves, exept for the Cheesian maids.
"I love you, Stevie-poos."
"I love you, Cheesey-poos."

I just saw a J-Rock (Japanese Rock) vid on kerrang:
http://www2.kerrang.com/2009/05/gerard_way_makes_j_rock_video.html
FEATURING GERARD WAY.
It come out in 2006.
HOW COME IT'S TAKEN ME 3 YEARS TO FIND THIS?!?!?!

Here goes the whole depression thing again.
My dad just called.

I really want to go out somewhere. I mean, Pant is all good and dandy until someone shoots you, y'know?
Seriously, i need to get out.
Shopping is fine, i think i still have my £20 vouchers somewhere.
Rhiannon's house is a VERY good idea, hint, hint.
Tyler's.. not so much.
But i'm willing to go up Pent.
Even... Co-op. (The horror!)
Rhi, Tye, Dais, ANYONE.
I need you.
You can come up Pant if you want.
It's relatively safe if you're not wearing a tutu or in close proximity of the 2 peados.
We can climb trees, and mountains, and.. my bed?
Eww, that sounds bad.
How about we go to the Spar instead?
Anyway, i must get out of this house.
I'm counting on you.
I need you.
PLEASE!

Saying "Cheese" is scarily addictive.
Rhiannon, check my comment on the last post.
SMILE.
cheese.

I can draw muffins & Cupcakes & Jam jars real good now.
I have 3 pics that i'mma scan later:
The "I wanna be a cupcake" one, where a muffin is looking depressed, thinking about cupcakes.
The "Muffins are just ugly cupcakes" one, a loner muffin is being bullied by cupcakes.
And the "Ugh, Labels" one. A jam jar is clawing at his "Jam" label.
^_^

13 & afraid of growing up. Music lover & Fringe obsesser. Poptart, coffee, & Skittles enthusiast with a love of all things neon. Long black hair & awkward eyes, Skinny jeans & hairbows. Artistic & Lingustic. Just a freak pretending to be intellijunt.
Beware.

Designer: Lady-Nadya
Brushes: ObsidianDawn
Font: DaFont
Base Codes: pride avenue

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