More Omegle & FML
20/07/2009
Omegle:
Stranger: hello!
Stranger: whats going on?
You: I'm thinking of commiting suicide. What's the best way?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: Of what religion are you?
Stranger: nothing
You: SINNER.
You have disconnected.
Stranger: hi how are u? are u a girl? with msn? :D
You: Would you like to sing with me?
You: YOU GOT A LIMO OUT FRONT.
You: OH WOAH
You: EVERY STYLE EVERY SHOE EVERY COLOUT
You: WHEN YOU'RE FAMOUS IT CAN BE KINDA FUN
You: IT'S REALLY YOU BUT NOONE EVER DISCOVERS
You: (Take it away!)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: I love disneyland.
Stranger: ur a girl
Stranger: :)
You: Do you like disneyland?
Stranger: YES.
Stranger: :D
You: I took some crack on "it's a small world".
You: It was very colourful.
You: SHARKS.
You have disconnected.
You: Like, Hi!
Stranger: hello there
You: Like, Hi again!
Stranger: HI?
You: Like, Hi!
Stranger: LIKE; HI!!!!!!!
Stranger: 1
You: Like, Fuck you!
You have disconnected.
You: I'm behind you.
Stranger: m a 16 m looking for a good looking female
You: I'm still behind you.
You: You're next.
You have disconnected.
Stranger: hi
You: Have you ever had that feeling that the kid you're talking to on Omegle knows where you live?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: My name is Mohammed.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: ..--.
Stranger: god damn morse code
You: --------------...-
Stranger: i forgot how it works
Stranger: FUUUUCK
You: ...-----..
Stranger: UHHH
You: -----------------------------------------------..
Stranger: BEEEP BOOP DEE DOT
You: ..--....-
Stranger: OMG
You: ..-.
Stranger: *DIES*
You: ---..-
You: ..
You: -
Stranger: I FAIL
Stranger: omg
You: ..--.
Stranger: stop!!
You: --.
Stranger: omg
Stranger: noooo
You: ...-
Stranger: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
You: ---...
Stranger: FUUUCK
You: ---..........-
You: --....-----
Stranger: OMG HOW DO I EXIT
You: Idiot.
You have disconnected.
You: Can you donate $2.50 to a hobo that you met on Omegle? It will provide crack and vodka.
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: not ofc
Stranger: :D
You: Please
You: I am poor.
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: me too
You: I live outside McDonalds!
Stranger: who would donate for me?
You: The rich hobos!
You: Please.. I'll sell you a copy of the Big Issue!
Stranger: nooooooooooope i am not the one of those
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: big issue
Stranger: cool
You: Fuck you, i'll sell this laptop instead.
You have disconnected.
You: I am one with nature.
Stranger: hi,
Stranger: well,
Stranger: in where?
You: In a tree.
Stranger: ?
You: Join me.
Stranger: :)
Stranger: why?
You: Because we are saving out planet.
You: *our
Stranger: u need smone to fuck u?
Stranger: good,
Stranger: ı liked u,
You: It depends... Are you f/m?
Stranger: m,
You: Gay bastard.
You have disconnected.
FML:
Today, I shaved my head for charity in tribute for my friend who died due to cancer. So far I have received 9 remarks claiming I look like the long lost twin of Lord Voldermort from the Harry Potter films. FML
Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML
Today my little sister went on a church camping trip, taking my sleeping bag with her. I keep my stash of weed hidden in that sleeping bag. FML
Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML
Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I was working my job as the person who checks people in at the gym. A sweaty chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied with "we like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said "so how did you get the job?" FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car, after spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour the guy showed up to unlock my car, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and said " You couldn't just reach in"? I forgot I left he window open. FML
Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house late at night. Driving up a hill, I see a deer run across the road. I love deer, so I stared at it as it hopped the fence on the other side. I then felt a huge bump as my car hit the other deer that was behind it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML
Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML
Today, I was driving without a license and weed in my car. A cop began to follow me, so I watched my speed very intently. I watched the speedometer so hard that I forgot that I was driving and ran off the road into a ditch. FML
Juiced 12:36 pm
