The Adventures of Cheesey The Ruler Part 4
25/02/2009
The Adventures of Cheesey The Ruler Part 4
Cheesey's New Life.
Cheesey took a long time to get over Steve's death.
He had become a very vacant ruler, without much enthusiasm for anything.
But that all changed when Tyler demanded custard. Of Cheesey, obviously.
So Jamie gave up Cheesey with a slight regret.
It was then that Cheesey embarked on his new life of Crime.
"Let's set fire to things!" said Tyler with a gleam in his eye.
And, from then on, Cheesey was Tyler's partener in Crime.
Skye was Jelous.
When Jamie saw Cheesey next, he has several scary tattoos, an extra hole on his side, and had fully recovered from Steve getting eaten by cannibals. He was ex-perimenting in DATING.
First, he walked up to Nina, and said, in a very deep, scary voice, "Date me, hot stuff."
Nina ate him and wouldn't let him out until tea time.
Then, he walked up to NoName, Daisy's bag, and said, in his scary deep voice, "Date me, hot stuff."
NoName Spat at him and told him he was a man.
Cheesey said that wasn't a problem.
NoName told Cheesey that he was a Jew.
Cheesey ran away.
Cheesey was having no luck with his Dating plan. Aww. Poor Cheesey.
So, in English, when no-one was looking (He didn't want to break his thug image!), He cried. Aww. Poor Cheesey.
Audrey, Daisy's Ruler, asked him what was wrong.
He replied, in his usual (Not deep &+ scary) voice; "I just can't take it anymore! Tyler is making me an arsonist, i am running out of money for nuclear bombs, I have to act tough, Stevie-poos is dead, no-one will date me, and - and - I -" He broke out with fresh sobs that made everyone look at him. "I WANT COOKIES!!!" He said, trying to choke back some tears.
Suddenly, Audrey hugged him, and everything was OK.
Tyler had no Skittles for an hour,
Cheesey sold some Cheesians on eBay for money,
No-one cared that he didn't act tough,
Cheesey had Audrey now,
and Jamie bought him cookies.
*Note = Don't be fooled - ALL inanimate objects are Male. Even Nina. He just wears Drag. Audrey's pink, but he can be "well 'ard".
-J x
Labels: Cheesey, Cheesians, Cookies, Crime, Daisy, Dating, eBay, English, Jamie, Nina, Nuclear Bombs, Skye, Steve, Tattoo, Tyler
Juiced 10:26 am
Cheesey The Ruler Part 4.
15/02/2009
Cheesey and Steve's lives were great after the Tyler-Craig-Jew thing.
Craig got done for the meanie he is, and was sentenced to 5 hours of MATHS. (Insert Jaws theme music here.)
Tyler's Mum said sorry and gave them all cookies.
And they were pretty darn happy.
Later, Cheesey and Jamie were walking home from Tyler's house, cookies in hand.
Jamie stopped off in the SPAR for some Skittles.
Cheesey was terrified of the SPAR, ever since he met Hobo Bag.
Hobo bag had bad stories of the SPAR...
So, anyway, Cheesey decided to stay outside while Jamie bought her E-numbers.
That was when he saw them...
Thousands of tiny protractors, skuttling about outside the SPAR.
Suddenly, they turned to Cheesey.
They advanced, baring their plastic teeth.
"Cannibals." Said Cheesey, under his breath.
They ran towards him.
One fell over.
Then suddenly, it was as if they all fell over at once, but didn't bother getting back up.
Then Cheesey realized.
They were
bowing.For him?
He felt he had to make a speech.
"Uh. Hi. I am Cheesey.. And, I, uh.. Am your king! No - your God! No - Your CHEESUS!"
The cannibalistic protractors applauded, screeching "Cheesus!" in unison.
So Cheesey was the Cheesus of Cheesiantity.
He liked that.
So he ran home, not bothering to wait for Jamie, to tell Steve, with all his millions of Cheesians following.
"Hi Stevie-poos! I'm home!" He said, running through the door, accompanied by the Cheesians.
"Oh. Hi. Who are they, Cheesey-poos?" Steve Said.
"They are my Cheesians, Stevie-poos!"
Steve looked puzzled.
Cheesey explained.
"So, in short," Steve said, "They are Cheesians. You are their Cheesus. And you rule Cheesiantity."
"YESH!" Cheesey proclaimed.
"I'll make some coffee for your Cheesians, then, Cheesey-poos."
The Cheesians didn't seem to understand a word of English, but sipped their coffee politely. For Cannibals, y'know.
When Cheesey returned from his shower, Steve was nowhere to be found!
The Cheesians looked at him sheepishly.
So Cheesey Ran at them with his sharpest side, ready to maim his followers and collect every last peice of his beloved Steve, no matter how many had had a part in eating him.
But the Cheesians escaped, never to be seen again.
Poor Cheesey. :(
Cheesey held a Funeral for Steve nevertheless, with Rhiannon, Jamie, Tyler, Hobo Bag, Daisy, Kayla'sBag, Nina, and some Cheesians that had given up their cannibalistic ways for coffee.
On the Gravestone, Cheesey had engraved:
Here Lies Stevie-poos.
Loved by many.
Eaten by even more.
It was hard for him, but Kayla'sBag assured him in her squeaky voice that it had to be done.
Rhiannon seemed to enjoy the depressingness of it all, so Cheesey kicked her.
And, although everyone was sad then, Steve had a very nice send-off. :)
-J x
Labels: Cannibals, Cheesey, Cheesianity, Cheesians, Cheesus, Coffee, Cookies, Craig, Daisy, Jamie, Kaylasbag, Maths, Nina, Rhiannon, SPAR, Steve, Tyler
Juiced 9:54 am
